毕竟我只会发冷光
[bì jìng wŏ zhĭ huì fā lĕng guāng]
This implies a melancholic self-image or a way of stating that despite efforts or actions ('light') they only emit a 'cold' version, suggesting an inability to warm up others emotionally or literally being detached and cool, not capable of giving heartfelt warmth or closeness.