你一枪崩了我说枪走火你一刀捅了我说手哆嗦
[nĭ yī qiāng bēng le wŏ shuō qiāng zŏu huŏ nĭ yī dāo tŏng le wŏ shuō shŏu duō suō]
A more colloquial and vivid expression which humorously describes being harmed physically but attributing accidents ('gun misfired or trembling hand') to absolve the blame from oneself.