笑着难过自我惩罚
[xiào zhe nán guò zì wŏ chéng fá]
Laughing through sorrow and punishing oneself reflects a mood of irony. It's an expression where, despite being in a painful situation, the person chooses laughter or a pretense of happiness, possibly as a coping mechanism. The 'self-punishment' part suggests the feeling of remorse.