一直是我自导自演
[yī zhí shì wŏ zì dăo zì yăn]
This phrase translates to 'always directing myself' which essentially conveys the notion of going solo, staging one’s drama, or orchestrating events alone. Such monologue-like expression indicates living in self-deception world sometimes, reflecting a life filled either with loneliness or taking complete responsibility of own life script.