为什么现在才告诉我因为我不想欺骗自己
[wéi shén me xiàn zài cái gào sù wŏ yīn wéi wŏ bù xiăng qī piàn zì jĭ]
Translated as 'Why did you not tell me until now because I didn't want to deceive myself.' It expresses dissatisfaction with the timing of some revelation as well as the inner conflict due to trying not to lie to oneself about the reality.