Understand Chinese Nickname

不想让你找到我不愿让你离开我

[bù xiăng ràng nĭ zhăo dào wŏ bù yuàn ràng nĭ lí kāi wŏ]
It's an ambivalent expression implying 'I don’t want you to find me, but also I don't want you to leave me'. The user seems caught between desiring solitude and fearing abandonment.
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